At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
