ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
