Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
