we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize