Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
