can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize