Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
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