I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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