she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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