he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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