When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
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