I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
