Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
