She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
