Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
