Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
