It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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