SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
