halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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