So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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