Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
