Christians are straight up FREAKS
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
