remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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