Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
