i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
