He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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