I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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