he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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