There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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