I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
