Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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