do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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