Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
