I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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