Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
