wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
