You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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