you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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