Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
