so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
