ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
