how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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