FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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