When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
