I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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