Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
im six kinds of drunk right now
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
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