Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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