come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
