I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
