im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
