sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize