I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
