Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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