Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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