is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
