Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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