Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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