Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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