i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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