So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
