they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
