i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I lost the right to judge tonight
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize