P.S. I can't hear my feet
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
