I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
