Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
